I have been married to the same man for almost 10 years. I have always done his laundry. Wash, fold, put in drawers, hang in closet whatever. I'm pretty particular about things. He jokingly gives me a hard time because I can't stand it if the covers are wrinkled and I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night to fix them if necessary. Glasses and mugs need to be in neat rows in the cupboards etc. So it stands to reason that I'd be pretty particular about how I arrange clothes in the closet and dresser drawers, right? I can't help it that it makes me want to scream when I see two shirts with their plackets facing each other hanging in the closet! It just does, ok? So I always hang all shirts facing to the left. I also arrange them by type, fabric and color in that order. I have a little more difficult time on my side because I have so many different kinds of shirt, but Nathan has oxfords, polos -- long and short sleeved, and then special breathable golf polos. His side of the closet looks like a rainbow. Literally.
I have spent the last 9 years in various levels of irritation and disbelief when I walk into the closet, or open dresser drawers to put things away because something is always out of place. And really. How much effort does it take to reach just a bit further to the right to hang that shirt up with the long sleeved polos than in the middle of the short sleeved ones? And so I would sigh and maybe grumble and hang it where it belongs. But one day, in the not too distant past, my darling hubby was desperately searching for a particular shirt. Finally he called to me in frustration "do you know where my _____ shirt is?" "It should be hanging right there in your closet" I call back. Still he can't find it. So I walk in and immediately pick it out "It's right here with the rest of your blue polo shirts" I say. He gives me a vacant look. "You mean to tell me, that in all these years you have never once noticed that your shirts are organized and arranged by color?" "They are?" he says staring at the shirts in disbelief. "They are" I say.
And there it is. He's not doing it to spite me, or to be lazy. He doesn't realize he's making more work for me. It just never occured to him to even notice! He still doesn't notice. I could harp on him and nag him until I'm blue in the face. It's not going to change anything. He is who he is. And so, I just let it go. :) Sometimes I still get irritated, but mostly I just chuckle and move the shirt.
What about you? What have you had to let go in order to avoid hard feelings or constant irritation?